The Dream Life

A little mind trip

I've been feeling sort of foggy lately--just a little disconnected. People ask me things and I give strange incoherent answers. The days flip past me and I can't quite grab on to them. Everything is fine, but I'm fresh out of ideas. I'm thinking that means I'm in some sort of cocoon and when I emerge, I'll be better and brighter than before--I might even have wings, which would be very cool. I'll be back soon with a clear head, ready to string words together and make sentences, but first, I'm taking a long weekend break from blogging for the purposes of rest and soul development. When I return, my head will be full of things to say, I'm sure.

Field trip lunches

My usual method for taking lunch to work is to grab something (granola bar) as I'm passing through the kitchen on my way out the door and pop it into my purse, which always seems like a good idea in the morning because I'm never hungry when I first wake up, but doesn't seem like such a great idea at 1 p.m. after toning class when I am hungry.
This morning, I changed things up. We had massive amounts of fruit salad left over from yesterday and I decided to take some of that for lunch. The only Tupperware bowl I could find that had a lid was pretty large but I figured, hey, it's fruit salad, so I loaded it up. I also spied a few pimento cheese biscuits in the fridge so I wrapped them up and put everything in a grocery sack.
Walking across the parking lot with my giant lunch bag, I was reminded of elementary school field trips. On regular school days I usually ate the cafeteria food but on field trip days, when a sack lunch was required, I had some favorite foods that always found their way into my bag. I'm not sure what it was about field trips, but they meant big crazy lunches. A field trip was license to pack completely decadent foods, enough to live on for a few days if the bus should break down leaving the whole class stranded on the side of the highway somewhere.
My field trip lunches were comprised of
a. a sandwich - usually peanut butter and pickle or bologna and mayo on whole wheat bread

b. a crunchy side - Munchos, Doritos, or those potato sticks that came in a can

c. a sweet - Swiss Cake Rolls were a favorite

d. a pop - usually a Crush or Dr. Pepper, frozen the night before then wrapped in aluminum foil

e. a random piece of fruit - usually an orange

So, even though my lunch today looked large, and even though it involved biscuits, it was definitely healthier than a field trip lunch.

After brunch

Windy, rainy Sunday afternoon, Hippies on tv, Woody and I are cuddled up on the couch. The house is clean and we're not worried about doing anything. He had to go out at 2:30 this morning and I never did get back to sleep all the way, so we're tired and happy to be sitting still (or, in his case, stretched out sleeping.)
Yesterday was my grandmother's birthday, so my family had a dinner last night.

Today, Tracy and I made a Mother's Day brunch for my mom and sister in law and family. We had donut holes and pimento cheese biscuits and fruit and hash brown casserole. They rolled in from the church they all attend, where a downed tree had knocked out their power and blocked their usual route home, and we ate food and drank coffees and teas and listened to music.

My original idea for this afternoon involved planting, but the weather has brought me the gift of rest and in a couple of hours, brunch leftovers will provide dinner.
Here's to mothers of all kinds, shapes and sizes -- the ones with children and the ones without. I hope your afternoons are just as pleasurable.

A cookie fairy visited me

Wrestling* with my usual with food issues this week (I’m so bored of them, as I’m sure you are, but what happened was, I decided to go off sugar again then ate ice cream last night that I didn’t even want just so I could taste it, thus choosing temporary taste bud pleasure over the lasting pleasure of health for, like, the twenty million billionth time), I decided this morning that I wouldn’t eat sweets unless someone gave them to me. In other words, I wouldn’t purchase desserts for myself or request that anyone else purchase them for me. I wouldn’t go waltzing into the kitchen at 8 o’clock at night and eat a spoonful of hot fudge sauce just because I wanted it, but if someone walked up to me and said, here, surprise, have this delicious piece of cake, then I would enjoy it fully. This way, I thought, I would know that I was eating what the universe (or my higher self, or my spirit guides) wanted me to eat. I would know that I wasn’t going to live the rest of my life with no sweets, I was just going to have to wait for the universe to gift them to me. I thought about this deal on my way to work and shook my own hand (figuratively) and went about my day. At about 4 o’clock this afternoon, I went down the hall to check on something, and when I came back, there was a cookie on my desk. I am not lying. There was an actual cookie on my actual desk, and it was chocolate chip.
The student who works in my office said, “You were left a cookie.”
“Who left me a cookie?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Someone.”
Obviously, this was a sign that my plan is a good one.
The cookie was also a good one.

*This is not a good word. Let’s say that I was negotiating with my food issues.

Gettin' back to where I once belonged

Since the first time I met Tracy's friend Jeff, I've wanted to go hear his band (I feel compelled to mention that as much as I deeply, deeply love the John Hughes contributions to film, when I watch Sixteen Candles as an adult, I am stunned by the character of Long Duk Dong, which has to be one of the most offensive presentations of Asian stereotype ever. This is just an aside, and I'm certainly not blaming the band for that...so, anyway.) I've wanted to hear them for a long time. First of all, I just really like Jeff a lot and second of all, they are an 80's cover band. They are, in fact, Lexington's premiere 80's band.
They play frequently at an Irish bar that's near our house and I routinely check their website to see when they're playing and I suggest that we go, but then we do whatever else we have to do and by the time 9 p.m. rolls around, we are either too exhausted or already wearing pajamas or actually in bed. Tracy doesn't drink at all and I drink alcohol about three times a year, so we just don't find ourselves in bars very often (even though I like bars for the darkness, the neon signs, the appetizers and the people watching.)
But last night, we went on a date.
Chad and Chloe graciously offered to take us out to thank us for a recent babysitting gig and even though we feel no thanks are necessary for that, and even though we really wanted to pay our own way, we were thrilled to go out as adults and have a time together. We knew we would go to Nagasaki. (Yes, I know that fish are not vegetables. The fact that I have allowed a little bit of fish back into my diet is the subject of another post) then we would do something fun like Karaoke or bowling or some such thing. So, of course, I checked the Long Duk Dong schedule, and they were playing.
Last night we headed out to Nagasaki and had a great meal.

(Although, I didn't pay attention to what I was doing and ordered up a bunch of expensive rolls. Sorry, Chad and Chloe), then, we actually did a little grocery shopping. I'm not lying. We needed some essentials so we stopped by Fresh Market and got them. Then, we went to O'Neill's. The timing was actually perfect. We got there just before the band was set to go on. The place was pretty well packed, but we found a table. The bartender immediately brought us a sample shot of Ale8 and Knobb Creek slushie. Since, like Tracy, my brother doesn't drink, and my sister in law doesn't do bourbon, I was the only taker. I didn't even drink all of it (and it was a shot), but that wasn't because it didn't taste delicious. This is all just to say that we aren't your typical partiers.
But, we sure did have fun.

The show began with 80's videos - some that I'd forgotten about but love like the Eurythmics Here Comes the Rain Again-and that immediately lulled me into an 80's reverie that made me feel really weird in a really good way. Then the band came on with a light show and they were so good. The thing that makes them so good is that they are a great band. They aren't getting by on a gimmick. They are seriously good musicians and can genuinely deliver the songs they play and the songs they play are - you know - the songs that people of a certain age remember in a certain way.
As Chloe put it, "I feel like I'm in my bathroom, there's a few inches of snow on the ground, and I'm hot rolling my bangs."
Exactly.
The crowd was a mix of people who were in their twenties during the 80's, people who were in their teens during the 80's, and people who were little bitty babies during the 80's, and we all grooved on the 80's vibe, remembering our memories and singing along. As I watched the dancing that was going on next to the stage, I saw for the first time in a long time, dancing that I know how to do. You know, high school dance dancing. I can't express how happy that made me. It was good, good stuff.
We left by 11 so that Chad and Chloe could relieve their sitter, so Tracy and I were actually home and in bed at a reasonable hour.
Next time, I'm going early, and getting a table up front.

We don't get it

Warning: This post is going to make me sound cranky and out of touch. Maybe I can offset that a bit by telling you that I don’t like censorship. If you ask me, TV after 8 p.m. is fair game. If I’m downloading a song and there’s a clean and explicit version, I download the explicit version just on principle.
Personally, I’m hyper sensitive to violence and anguish so I don’t watch tv shows or movies that are excessively violent or pessimistic, that include scenes of torture or rape, or anything where something bad is going to happen to a child or an animal, but I feel it’s my responsibility as a viewer to turn off the things I don’t want to see. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s responsibility to make television, or the movie screen, a happy place for me.
I think movie ratings can be a huge detriment to film makers and I’d like to see a move toward a less restrictive more informative system. I can pretty much tell from previews and marketing whether or not a movie has too much of what I don’t want to be exposed to and I sort of resent the idea that some governing body somewhere is deciding what’s appropriate for a 13 year old and what isn’t. If I had children, for instance, I’d be way more concerned about their exposure to the many varieties of cloaked and overt sexism and racism that run rampant through the media than I would be nudity or language.
So now that you know where I stand on things, here comes the cranky part.
My eldest niece, who is four, is familiar with the book Horton Hears a Who! and likes it. My grandmother, who discovered Dr. Seuss through the nieces, is familiar with the book and loves it. A couple of weekends ago, we decided a family outing to the movie theater to see the Horton movie would be big fun. Ava was excited to go with us and we were excited to take her and we had the nicest time in the car just chatting and being together and basking in the sweet wonderfulness that is “four.” Four is a beautiful age, and Ava is a fantastic one. Her wisdom and compassion never fail to astonish me. She’s always ready with a compliment. (If you’ve never sat down next to your four year old niece and had her say, “Wow, you smell nice,” then you really haven’t lived.)
So, we planned our food purchases (popcorn, Twizzlers, gummi bears) and bought our tickets. Ava asked if she could sit in my lap, and I gladly obliged. The previews had already started by the time we sat down and the first one was for the new Pixar movie. It included one rather major gun blast and a lot of what I think of as generalized fear. I felt uncomfortable knowing that Ava was seeing it because I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, the way it was making me feel uncomfortable. The next was for Speed Racer. It was loud and sort of aggressive and there was some sexual innuendo, but nothing too offensive. The next one was for an animated movie, Kung Fu Panda. The entire trailer involved kicking and punching, and not just in a martial arts context, but worse than that, the characters were really awful to each other. They were just mean and the jokes all seemed to be centered around the main character getting hurt. The next preview, for Ice Age 3, was more of the same and ended with a frightening, roaring dinosaur.
Finally, the movie started and I was relieved that the previews were over. I know the story of Horton, but I also know the tone of Seuss. Surely, I thought, the movie would be appropriate for a four year old.
But I was soon disappointed.
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer Carina Chocano said it very well:

...it tries too hard to act cool around the other animated movies, which, for some reason, still swear by the sardonic, pop culture-laden, celebrity-voiced, sitcom-cadenced corporate-speak that keeps trying to pass as humor. When in this mode, "Horton Hears a Who!" compulsively undermines its own message of dedication, respect and perseverance. "An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent," Horton says at one point. Then he lowers his eyelids wearily, puts on a funny voice and drawls, "That's my co-o-de. My mot-to. . . . " So much for sincerity.

There were moments of Horton that were funny and moments that were magical-looking, but overall the tone was harsh and sort of mean. I would have noticed it, but perhaps not cared as much if Ava had not been sitting on my lap, but since she was, each pointed jab, each slap of pain, each episode of nasty name calling stuck my straight in the heart.

When the black-bottomed eagle Vlad entered the picture, it was all too much for Ava. Too dark. Too angry. She suggested that we leave, so we did.
That input, seeing all of that content that's marketing for children, made me think.
The trailers we saw, you could certainly argue, are meant for older children, but Horton Hears a Who!, it seems to me, ought to be just right for a four year old. Maybe Ava and I are in a minority. In fact, I suspect that we are, but we don't think it’s funny to be cruel. We don't think it’s funny when sympathetic characters are mocked and harmed. We don't think that extreme peril is the only story there is, or that characters need to be either immensely “good” or immensely “bad.”
In the car, Ava said, “Maybe when I’m more growed up, I can see movies like that.”
It was exquisitely heartbreaking. I hope not, I thought. I hope you always have the sensibility that you have now. I hope your heart is always just as out of step with that sort of thing as it is in this moment.
“I’m as growed up as you can get,” my grandmother said, “and I didn’t like it either.” Then, she added, “You should always say what you think, Ava. You don’t have to like something just because other people like it.”
And that, really, is the truth about our day. It was a good outing even though we didn’t like the movie. We enjoyed being together and we went to Krispy Kreme and watched donuts being made

and ate donuts and everything was fine. So maybe you could say that Horton Hears a Who! just wasn’t the movie for us, but the experience made me think.
I've never been one to blame "the media" for things, but I had to wonder as I watched the animals in Kung Fu Panda casually punching one another in the stomach, tossing out phrases like, "you suck," how much all this mildly violent, sarcastic storytelling is sinking into young minds and bodies and relationships, informing those playground moments that seemingly come out of nowhere. Maybe we are, in subtle and not so subtle ways, guiding our children down a path of big-man-on-top, winner-takes-all, nastiness in the name of entertainment and that makes me sad.
Ava and I are waiting for a Charlie and Lola movie.

Gardenaut

What's going on with the growing of things...Gardenaut: Preparing and assessing.

Candy conversation

Lately I've been wondering, if someone were to give me a fantasy basket of candy filled with my very favorite candies of all time, what would be in it?
I’ve decided that in my basket would be Reese’s Cups, Snickers bars, Brach's Butterscotch, Twizzlers, M&Ms, Raisinets and Chunkys.
Yes, this is the sort of thought that I have but remember, it’s only a thought. I’m not actually eating the fantasy basket of candy. The fantasy basket of candy doesn’t actually exist and therefore, it can be as big and fabulous and chocolatey as I want it to be without adding one inch to my waistline.
Tonight, I asked Tracy what his fantasy basket would include and was surprised to hear his enthusiastic answer, Smoothies. I’d never even heard of them but it turns out, they’re a favorite of Tracy’s. Also in his basket are Paydays and Teaberry gum.
After having this candy conversation, we both headed back out, me to photograph an event at work and fill up my car with gas, he to Home Depot and Walgreen’s. I asked him to pick up a few packs of Kleenex for me since I’m working tomorrow night and Saturday too, my allergies have kicked up, and I need to have my own personal Kleenex supply while I’m running from event to event.
We reconvened and he presented me with my Kleenex and this.

A Chunky! I didn’t know they were still being made, but they are. Maybe it won’t hurt to eat this one little piece of the fantasy basket.

Earth Day

I don’t remember knowing about Earth Day when I was a kid, but the first one was held in 1970, and I was born in 1969, so we’ve sort of grown up together. Thankfully, Earth Day has continued to gain attention. It’s led to the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency and the passage of the Clean Air, Clean Water, and Endangered Species acts.
While paying attention to taking care of Mother Earth is a way of life, I think celebrations like Earth Day are great at raising awareness and focusing energy.
I love the earth and I want it to be around for my nieces and their nieces. Nature knows how to stay in balance and thrive. As humans, we need to catch up to what the planet already knows how to do and become better caretakers, and I think we are doing that. I think we are, as a people, beginning to understand that our choices have consequences and becoming more and more willing to take action that has a positive impact. We don’t have a choice, really.
Here’s a great list of things you can do to make a difference.
Here’s a great idea for exchanging stuff rather than throwing it out.
Here’s a great explanation for why it’s good to buy organic.
Here’s a great blog about environmental and animal rights issues with practical advice.
Here’s a great place to learn about your carbon footprint and how to reduce it.
Happy Earth Day, ya'll.

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